Greeting Reader. It’s Saturday.
Many moons ago I would be firing up the cartoons looking for a show. Bugs Bunny really. He was my favorite and I always thought I would marry him. Until I realized he wasn’t of my specific genetic make up. Damn.
On this particular as I listen to Piano Man (Billy Joel) he stared its 9:00 am but it’s actually 6:00am. And well, I am going to lay to rest my old ways and begin all over again. Again.
I mean isn’t that what we do when we wake up every day? We start a fresh new morning listening to the birds and God. I do. And well, my God is quite Big. And His bigness is saying to me “Little girl, go into hiding. It’s time.” God is asking me to make decisions on the cuff because there really isn’t much left for me to say behind the lines of Facebook and other mass online media social platforms. You tube. Yes. WordPress. Yes. Facebook? No. Instagram? No. The time for selfie security has now ceased. And, it’s time to close your practice. For now.
I thought 48 hours ago I would be doing another really big thing too! A new adventure full of business planning and promotion and property searching and rebranding. No.
Because 48 hours before that 96 hours ago God said “Shut it down!” Ok. He wasn’t kidding.
Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the new me. The one who is going to put her self first and heal. I need to be socially distant from others. Especially now. And it has nothing to do with CV-19, however CV -19 will go down in history as the epic viral pandemic that showed me a new way.
I can no longer hold my finger in the dykes. I have run out of fingers. The soil and spillage from unknowing consciousnesses has swept me away into a willing isolation. I will dissolve the practice which has now falling into unrepairable debt and eventually get a day job. Someone has to pay back these credit cards. Someone has to pay for my car, my small life insurance policy and my car insurance. Someone has to feed Ms. Holly Elaine King and that someone is me.
I applied for every loan possible to save my practice in the beginning. I scrapped for hours to finally get a portion of UI. I still have no stimulus and no where to call. It’s a disaster in its self and we need secondary PTSD pay just for running our asses off looking for help. What a small business nightmare. (And I speak on behalf of millions). I am not an unusual case.
But as I wake up today I hear God telling me to STOP. Stop everything you are doing and lean on Him. Ok. Fine. I surrender.
So for the next few weeks I am going to close out my books, have very limited communication with my clients (ethically for financial reasons) and shut myself off from Social Media. Maybe even for good.
I want to start on my autobiography and get a plain Jane job or at least work somewhere where I can go home and shut it off. I am in a new relationship and to be quite transparent it’s been strained. Not because I do not love, but because we both have been severally emotionally damaged. And if I am going to value a new man in my life we need to seek some therapy. And, we have already started the process.
You see my dear reader, I was mentally abused by several men in my life due to overpowering energies and subconscious anger that these men carried into my life. (Since birth). I have done well to forgive them but my dear reeder there is more. It actually turned me into a royal bitch. I too, engaged in the negative side of each relationship as a human and at certain points also, did not fight fair. It’s called survival.
Currently in my life some of the closest people to me have shunned me for being too personal about my life with regards to my practice and it’s reputation. “A therapist should never be so publicly vulnerable and air their dirty laundry.” Oh really? I am bemused by that idea when it comes to authentic healing but I get it. The world wants a feel good solution. Sure they do.
And well to be perfectly honest my personal life was how my practice got so big so fast in the first place. I was willing to say I am a human being and I struggle with x y and z and so do you. There is always something a human being can be working on. Including a therapist and even more so when you hold such a great space for people in pain. The pain people come and see me for could be in any form but pain is pain and it’s always in the brain. Always.
Friends. Family. Hear me when I say my disconnection from social media is not a bad thing and in fact as King David hid his ass in the cave when Saul wanted to beat him senseless I too am going to hide. This is my new normal starting now.
Because people do love me and I being a huge smile to so many I know so many will be upset. What no more massage? (Not for now and I don’t know if and when I will do it again.) Massage Envy is easy to get into if I want to go back but for right now I am unable to save my own business mostly due to financial destruction and a whole lot of 80 hour weeks that have wrecked my body. My joints are damaged and when we shut down on May 15th 2020 I could barely bend my fingers. I have damaged my hands but they are slowly healing. I will never be able to hold that capacity of human touch again nor should I. I just was trying to save the practice I built and work on anyone and everyone I could because I truly love to see folks heal. But now it’s my turn. And that is in no way selfish. And the responsibility I have to make sure I properly go out of business is a painful legal matter. It’s not a joke. I need to focus on doing it right. The loss sucks but it doesn’t mean I can avoid the legal ramifications of shutting down a business. The state of Kentucky requires it. I have final reports to create and books to close out. (Even if they are in the red). ;(
So for now if you want to engage with me as a friend and check in on me you can and I will graciously make the following suggestions.
Follow my blog.
Find me on YouTube.
Find me on medium.com
Buy my book when it comes out.
Call my phone and see how I am.
If you text me that is ok too but know I may not reply right away. Fingers people. All this texting has destroyed my thumb joints. I will not jump to text back. It hurts. I do like FaceTime and Zoom. I at least get to see your face.
I will delete my Facebook account tomorrow to give time to notify people of this thing so for those that catch the news here listen it takes time to shut down your feeds when you have run a business on Facebook feeds for five years. F. F. And more F’s. Make sense?
My time now will be used to heal my body and mind, write my book, find a civilian part time job when the world opens so I can get off of UI, and the off the government, and pay off my mountain of debt and, most importantly, work on my relationships.
For all my cheerleaders out there who have come to my emotional rescue as I did all I could to save The Reiki Station LLC I want you to know it never once went unnoticed or unappreciated. And I am sure God will do another thing with me later. But for now I am going to stay in my cave, get to know myself and heal. I will sing a song Of love to God and I will stay comforted in it all. I am pretty conditioned when it comes to letting go so no worries. I will be just fine. 😉
I am Holly Elaine King. And this is my drive thru life and today I am going to listen to God and make some morbid adjustments. In doing so, will come a great and mighty resurrection someday. I just don’t know when but I do know I am a Phoenix.